You Are Dissipating

staring outside
the moon hides
the stars twinkle and laugh
and the clouds rain toxic gas

the cold air weakens my breath
is this death?
my fingers begin to stiffen
what happened to my intuition?

let me lie on the icy bench
absorbing your stench
I’ll breathe out light
bright star dust-it will be a beautiful sight

i hope you never see the day
come and join me today
feel the pain
crumble in your shame

look around
from above
to the ground
you are dissipating

i hope you never see the day
come and join me today
feel the pain
crumble in your shame

look around
from above
to the ground
you are dissipating

oh the bliss
you really do miss
the fright that is part of your fight
makes nothing but a burial site

crumble in your shame
feel your pain
see the day
see it today

you are dissipating…

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Does He Love Me So?

Long gone are the days that I’d strip away pieces of my mind
Where useless energy spent wandering a fool
Spinning my mind
Over time

Time needed
For solitude
For rejuvenation
Clarity

I for one should know
The introverted self
Where I sometimes hide
In my quiet time

So I ask
Forgive me?
For the fear
The neurotic times
The attachment style bears shame
For which there is no one else to blame
But I

No more tedious reflection
I accept the space
To grow
To nurture
To fall deeper-in love

Funny how sometimes loving another introvert
We selfishly forget
The needs
To be
Left
Alone

In the quiet times
Happily
I now sit here
In reflection
No longer worrying
Does he love me so?

The Devil Seeks

In the distant whispers
Heard through cracks
Of borrowed time
I close my ears
To the bitterness it hisses
I turn my back to evil
I refuse to hear
Though I can see
A wicked projection
Of mind shackles
That he, lucifer, has summoned
Through my gritted laughter
I proclaim…
“You can’t catch me,
You can’t punish me,
You can’t beat me!”
Though I’m not immune to mere seconds of pain
For I am human
I can however-laugh it off
In the heat of your game
For the deepest pain does not exist
I have eternal love
And ‘the love’ of which
The devil himself
Seeks!

Feelings Unexplained

Crushing bones
wailing soul
my heart breaks into a million stones

The world seems out of reach
distant
and incomplete

Deafening silence
beats
stricken death

Winter sets
the coldness
paralyzes

Time ticks
my senses stop
I can’t feel my heart

Alive
dead
which way does it end?

Christmas lights
the absence of color
the memory no more

Holiday cheer
sadness appears
the joy the pain

Make it go away…

My Everything

I feel what I can’t see
I see what I can’t feel
All my emotions form in one tear

The pain from inside swells
My outside washes it away
And I’m left holding your memory

There is so much I don’t know
But I know
So much I can’t show
But I see
You tease I don’t know everything about you
But I do
I know your soul
I know you know

Your image consumes me
Your smile warms me
Your eyes lose me
I’m not the same

Tears roll
One by one
Faster and faster
I miss your laugh

Seconds in
I realize
I miss it all
I miss everything there is
I miss every little thing that makes you you

The falling tears reminding me
What you truly mean
To me
To my soul
You are
My everything

The Nightmares that Linger

I fear my breath
You still linger
The aftertaste tingles
My taste buds bleed

Your heartless decay blackens the room
The heaviness of rot
I can’t breathe these toxins
Open a window, please I beg, “just leave!”

Let the fresh air in
Let the breeze purify
Let there be new life
Let me live without your everlasting interference

Why must you be here?
Why must you hold on?
Why must you spread poison?
Why must you stay where you are no longer wanted, or needed?

Aw the beauty of the past
It is not always a fair sight
Your memories trying to desperately come to life
They are nightmares of others
They are nightmares of mine

To Remind Me of You

A haze of shooting stars
Shimmer across the sky
Lace together letters
Making words
Describing you and I

Destined to remain
Thousands and thousands of years unknown
Lovers of the abyss
Makers of the galaxy
Our souls scatter the universe

On cloudy nights
Or rain stricken evenings
Or when the moon sleeps
I am lost
Without the sight of you

I search desperately through the darkness
Hoping to catch a glimpse
A lighted sky
Anything
To remind me of you