Wonderful Dreams

It was a hazy day
On a late afternoon
The sun shined flecks of orange and gold
My whole body felt light and relieved
There he stood
My old friend hugging me good bye
Comforting me
As I started to let go
Turning my head down and away from the safety of his chest
Realizing I didn’t really want him to leave
I could feel my heart was trying to tug me back
He said, ” when will I see you again?”
Externally I froze
Internally I processed at rapid speeds
I looked up to say, “I’m here now,”
with a coy, half-crooked smile
He smiled back with a partial laugh
Our eyes met between our laughter
Then fate stepped in
His lips met mine
I felt my body melt into his
The softness of his tender kiss
The slowness I’ve missed
Our lips met for another
Three short breathless kisses
The kind I adore
I couldn’t feel my heart anymore
Exchanged in the heat of the moment
I presented him a gift
My heart was now his
My eyes opened wide
It was a dream
I wonder what this all means?
Other than just a wonderful dream.

Far Away From You

I misconstrued the bleeding from my soul
I was bleeding from my head not my heart
You never held the power to destroy me-I was misled

It’s a cleansing
A proper good-bye
There are no more tears to dry
There is no real loss
You are no longer in the running for my Prince Charming

Good-bye my dead love
I wish you a sweet death
In love-hell where they bury love alive

I’m free from the lies that kept me cornered
Released from the burden of tethered chains
I am a hundred pounds lighter than I’ve ever been

I want to drive on a highway
At speeds over 105
Not to crash
But to celebrate my freedom
I’m fucking over you at last

Today is the beginning
Today is my end
You no longer fit in a speck of dust crossing my path
Or any god damn thoughts where you used to stand

You are no longer my first and last thought
You killed me- finally, at last
You killed the love I used to hold

My love is buried in Love-land
Where it will re-bloom
In a garden of love
Far away from you


Where is my warrior, my lord, my god?

Desire and passion
Just the mere thought brings me to my knees
Arms held overhead
My body against the wall
The heat of his breath whispering against my neck
His right knee gently wedged between my thighs pressing firmly against me
The ecstasy being in that moment of energy
I sigh…
Those are the thoughts that haunt me
The way his scent intoxicated me
He was the lover before last
He was a universal love
Where we made love in the clouds underneath the stars
Yet the strength of his kiss missed the erotic touch I missed
If I could take his pleasure and mix it with another
One who kisses of fire and desire
I would have the perfect lover
The last lover tragically missed
The orgasms were there, but the kisses too wet to maintain a spark!
I Want
I Need
I want to feel my heart gasp
I want my stomach to fall
I need to be on the cusp of fainting and screaming for more
I crave a warrior
I want him to tear my goddess walls down
Chip away inch by inch with a fiery kiss
To turn my world upside down
To bring me to my knees
To weep of erotic joy
To take me back to the stars
With the moon as my guard
Where I belong
I need to feel loved and desired
So I ask…
Where is my warrior, my lord, my god?

An Expression of Chaos

Writing has always been the easiest way to express the words I struggle to say. 

It’s the only way I know how to heal from the inside out. 

I know I’ll never reach a hundred likes and that’s okay because most days I don’t even expect one. 

Writing is the most intimate conversation with my soul and when I paint, it is the poetry of my soul’s response speaking back to me. 

There is never a moment of silence, just thousands of conversations and words dying to be heard. 

The beauty of this chaos rests in the deepest part of my soul’s existence to the chatter of the stars blessing the world in a language of like minds. 

The Stories He Hides

If I take a male lover 
And he pretends to be mine

I would hate to hear of his past lovers, the ones that bear the darkest of secrets 

Especially those during his drug addiction days

I don’t want to know of his lovers-and if there truly were male lovers 
Doubt will fill my head

and if it is true

I will wonder…

Did he love them just the same 

as he pretended to love me?

I feel betrayed
These are not secrets you keep from your intimate partner

He knew every light and dark part of me 

And I knew very little of him 

Shame on me

The woes of taking a male lover who took another male lover
Though he pretends to be one way

He can’t escape the lies- they’ve caught up to the stories he hides

Diablo Juice

I know the devil himself paid me a visit
I fell in love at first sight
In this little bar on a Saturday night
I thought I was sipping on some beer
But I think that bartender slipped me diablo juice disguised as beer

The band was rocking words I can’t remember
He was sittin next to me and I was shaking like a leaf
I felt like I was dreaming
I thought all my prayers were answered when I looked in his eyes

Thinking back
Daydreaming in reality can be a dangerous thing
Days turned to years before I’d see the light
I didn’t see the beast had been hiding in those eyes

Fake love, cruel love, poisonous drinks
My obsession, my one and only love, I couldn’t think

All those shivers I thought was love
Boy I was wrong
He was giving me a deadly fever
I couldn’t see he was sucking my soul right from under my eyes

I thought I was in love
It was the booze playing tricks on me
No wonder he kept pouring another one for me
Altering my reality
Keeping those lines blurred
Charming me, my family and friends
We all thought he was the shit,
The bomb
But we were all wrong

All the signs flashing neon lights
I walked in the dark
Obscured to the light
I walked high
Following the devil blind

Lost in the dreams and fantasies
I missed the warnings
I followed roads that led me to darkness
Places that were not mine

Fake love, cruel love, poisonous drinks
My obsession, my one and only love, I couldn’t think

All those shivers I thought was love
Boy I was wrong
He was giving me a deadly fever
I couldn’t see he was sucking my soul right from under my eyes

Confused by the pain of hidden deceit
My heart was enchanted by all the lies
It wasn’t until the stars stopped shining
The moon started hiding
The crows swarmed overhead
I decided to pretend I was dead

I never thought I’d give up on someone like him
I thought he was my beginning and my end
Too drunk in love to see the truth
I got lost over and over again with the sights of him

When I came face to face with the hard lies
I woke from the mirage with a naked mind
Stripped of my soul, but my heart was finally mine