Summertime Sadness Series # 7

A familar passage of ale now tastes foul

Its soothing appeal lost

Similar to the taste of the many wrong men I’ve endured

Bitter love lingers now

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Summertime Sadness #4

Winter blues in July

I stand still, facing a wall of solitude 

Boxed in by a world of masterminds 

            The art of lies

Winter blues, winter blues, winter blues in July

Dark Days

I am weathering the storm
Embracing for much more
It’s gonna get worse before I’ll see the sun
I know I know I’ve done this before
How many more dark days
How many more dark days can I take

I’m walking around personalized rays of sunshine
The cloud swarms over me it is dark and vicious
Everyone around me has the sun’s gleam in their eyes
I’m holding a giant umbrella protecting the rain from my eyes
How many more dark days
How many more dark days to shake

I’ve made amends
I’ve gone ahead and made peace with forgiveness
I’ve been trying to feel blessed
I keep standing in the shadow that hides from the light waiting to be pulled into the sunshine
How many more dark days
How many more dark days how many more dark days

what we could be

i pretend to feel nothing
to be numb
a false sense of reality
when i am eating
broken glass

i wash myself
with razor blades
dress my skin
with salt

i picture your face
when you ripped
out my heart

i miss your smile
and your laughter
when we pretend
what i thought was real

i miss my soulmate
i will miss
you
until the bitter end

i won’t call
or look
for you
in crowded
streets

i won’t say your
name
but i will feel
you always
crying within me

i walked barefoot
a thousand
lives
i looked for you each
time

i stumbled upon you
after three decades 
i couldn’t believe i never
knew when i first met you

my soulmate found
the heart of my heart
the soul of my soul
i cried in relief

a few years of
epic love
and the illusion
is gone

now i cry in grief
to be dissed for a
high
your other love

i will cry a thousand
more lives
dragging my cut up feet
bearing the loss of what we could be

 

Weeping Willow

Weeping willow my mirror

I wilt too

I gaze towards my feet

My love struggles to reach the ground

The challenges faced drain my ability to grow

My heart bends-but it does not break

I long to soak the sunshine in

I want to capture the whispers of the moon at night

I desire to feel the wind to kiss my skin- to hold me tight

To break free the of the mental weight so my love can reach the muddy waters

To be able to plant the broken pieces of my own heart to grow free

Leaving pieces of my soul to bloom infinite love indefinitely