Misguided Trust

I keep falling for the same ol’ lies
I keep chasing what’s not mine
Sucker for enchanted eyes
Crooked smile bringing me to my knees

The pattern is on repeat
These men I meet
Misguided trust
You keep failing me

They say keep your head up
You’re beautiful, you’re special
I wish you were still mine
Lies, lies, lies
Don’t lie to me

Puttin on the charm
Making me adore something that’s not mine
Liars, cheaters, abusers
Walk away, walk away
Keep your tainted love tame
Keep it away from me

This pattern is on repeat
These men I meet
Misguided trust
You keep failing me

Memories of the past
You keep haunting me
Blasting them on a mother fuckin broadcast
I’m walking thru the twilight zone on every street
It’s the same ghost love with every man I meet

Misguided trust you keep failing me
Misguided trust you keep haunting me
Misguided trust I am on my knees
Beggin you please, beggin you please
Keep em away from me

Unlock My Heart

As each tear dries
My level of love hides
As my emotions teeter
My anger is breaking the meter

I know to love
Breaks all the rules
I know to truly love
Meant I loved you

I opened my vulnerability ten-fold
I didn’t keep any walls up
I left the key to my heart
For you to have and hold

Now I’m angry with myself
For trying my hand at love
For loving the most selfish man
For thinking my love could soften your heart

Ah to love is foolish
Yet I try and try again to be brave
Hoping I find the right soul
Someone who wants to protect and unlock my heart

Love Chaser

I nibble on a bite here and there 

Keep up the appearance I am still here

Food is no longer desired

But a necessity to just barely stay alive

I rot in my own skin

Not wanting to shower and cleanse the pain

The essence of water will wash away misery, it will make its way down the drain

Now I wonder can I make it through the third day without notice?

I am slowly ceasing to exist

Though I don’t want to die 

I want to just lie and suffer

Punish myself for all things

Even if I know they are all not my fault

I love foolishly

Without walls and borders

I love with every single ounce I have

I want to be loved in return 

I hear the love I so desperately seek, but I don’t see it

I chase ghosts

People incapable of loving me back

I chase the desire

To feel what I will never feel in human form

I chase love 

Love can’t be caught

It can’t be contained 

Love can’t be returned

I must learn to love only myself-again.