What Life Once Was

Lost in the stillness
On a path
Venturing the distance
Leading with my backside
With nothing in view
Only miles and miles
Of shades of lemon and tangerine
A mirage of lemonade
A refreshing taste of yesterday
It covers my eyes
It gets real
I am locked inside my mind
Dancing with the devil
Sipping the poison
Breathing the blackness
Trapped
Suffocating
Barricaded in the confines of self-inflicted emotional abuse
MAKE THE VOICES STOP
Why doesn’t the sunshine rescue the helpless?
The emotional
The insecure
The lost
The colors
They cloud
Paint an image of peace
They should heal
Give hope
Why don’t they bring happiness to my mind?
Breathing fresh air
I’m outside
Dancing with the devil
The allure
Temptation
No holy test
To secure a place in the soul
To save the tortured
Damage has already occurred
I sold my soul to the devil
Damn the need to walk across to the other side
To view the greener grass
The artificial turf
Trickery of the source
When vulnerability captures the weakness
My sunshine starts to bleed
Turning grotesque red
I feel the heat
I’m dying
In the bottomless pit
Where tomorrow never comes
And today stands still
And yesterday is lost
A forgotten memory
Of what life
Once was
Before darkness stepped in
Stripping away the little bit of happiness
Why didn’t I just hold on?

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After the Rain

There are no words,
no love,
no display of emotion,
That you feel for me,
I’m the warm body,
masked,
for your display,
To tinkle,
To mold,
To have a hand to hold,
When you’re craving me,
you keep me lingering,
With your grip,
Under broken chains,
Only to tease me,
waiting to express love,
until you’re about to lose me,
then you return me,
to wither and die,
in the sun,
like an earth worm,
caught after the rain.

Withering Soul

There are people who cross my path,
I’m tempted,
To explore,
Like I have done before,
In my drinking bliss,
I seek to kiss,
To taste,
To explore,
Though,
I cannot,
And come the morning light,
And my thoughts tucked tight,
I don’t think I can lay for another,
I’m fucked,
Convicted,
Torn in two,
In love with the man,
Who is neither here,
Nor, there,
I will lay unrested,
With my thoughts,
Thoughts of him,
What in the world can I do?
There is no escape from the madness,
My internal madness,
The afflictions I bear,
The addiction I wear,
My bleeding soul withers,
While it waits for you.